Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off

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(618): View more from Illinois

i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.

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(518): View more from New York

I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

since when the fuck is that glamorous?

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(406): View more from Montana

she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.

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