Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize