Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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