Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So. Much. Porn.
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