So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You made out with two different species that night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
