I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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