We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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