Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
