return my video game
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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