if you like me you must not know who I am
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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