Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
