no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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