I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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