his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is my gift to your gina
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
