Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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