People with herpes should wear stickers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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