i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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