i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
