Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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