R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
whose parrot is this?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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