He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
