fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize