Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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