I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
