i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
