Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
