having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
