Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
