yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
