Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
