I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
