Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
