definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
