well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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