dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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