Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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