I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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