I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
