When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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