So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
