Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i love accidental penises.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
