i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
