Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
