Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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