My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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