You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
