This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize