I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
