if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize