I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
