god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
