I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I smell stomach acid.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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