my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
