there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
