I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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