so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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