I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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