i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
