yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
