Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
