the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
