I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
